Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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