I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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