A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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