i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
