I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize