Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need a beard to bite.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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