i just wanna soil my oats bro
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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