Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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