He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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