Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
