God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize