He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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