that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
