You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
