Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
