when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
