I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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