I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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