we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
