Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
