I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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