Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
