Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
