I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
