remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sobbing to NWA
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
