This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize