There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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