hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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