she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
