ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am spending my child support on dildos
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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