So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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