Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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