Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
