I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.