Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.