i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book