you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.