i think my tv is drunk
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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