The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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