I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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