Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
