Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
