Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize