Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
