Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm always down for nudity.
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