I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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