If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have post one night stand depression
I got conspiracy theory drunk.