He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize