I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
