census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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