I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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