we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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