Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
how drunk are you?
Several
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
