I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
