Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
