remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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