Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize